Thoughts on TAing

This was my first year serving as a TA (teaching assistant). As a TA, I led discussion sections, reviewed material from the lectures, graded papers and exams, and answered student questions.

It's very different from teaching environmental education to little kids. However, I enjoy being able to lead "grown up" discussions. I could only talk about how Mr. Tree needs sunlight to grow and Mr. Deer needs leaves to eat for so long before Ms. Crystal began to need to talk to someone who exceeded the height of Mr. Knee and could carry on an actual conversation.

Here are some of my general conclusions on teaching college students:

1. Giving out grades is not as heinous as being graded oneself, but it is close.
2. College students actually have about the same attention spans as three-year-olds. They just try harder at faking attentiveness.
3. College students are better than three-year-olds at figuring out when I don't know what I'm talking about.
4. Three-year-olds are more motivated to be "good" than college students. It's just that the three-year-olds lack the self control to follow the rules. College students have the control, but lack the motivation.
5. Text messaging is the devil's invention.
6. Students who fall asleep in class do not enjoy having erasers thrown at them, but it makes class much more enjoyable for me.

I leave you with a few excerpts from one of the papers on cloning that I graded at the end of the semester. The student who wrote it appeared to be generally intelligent, and participated in discussions. I really don't know what happened with this paper. I'm not sure if the student was awake while writing. My suspicion is that she wasn't. Here are a few choice passages:

"Just because a parent has the thought of a potential life saving bonus coming from cloning doesn't shy away from deeper feeling of desire to have that clone."

"Cloning could have potential peril effects"

I love the lack of punctuation here:

"Human dignity is the underlying subject that is trying to be protected by this objection and it is saying that we should treat them in ways that they themselves on reflection and deliberation would believe to be good and cloning is a possible downfall of violating their human dignity and subjecting clones to being used on instrumentally."

And my very favorite:

"No one wants to be used, or be a pon, or be the escape goat for anyone else, so this objection for cloning violating human dignity appears to be a solid argument."

Classes and Dancing

Spring semester went well as a whole. The classes I took were very challenging, but in the end, I got As, and my writing improved, so I think it counts as a success. My dancing has also improved, and has become my favorite passtime, my primary social activity, my exercise, and my passion. I've never been very athletic, but dancing has shown me the exhileration that can come from physical activity. When I can feel the music through my body, connect with my partner, and let my movements just flow, it is like magic. There is nothing else like it.

It may seem a bit odd, but as a generally guarded and closed person, I tend not to be very physically affectionate, even with my friends. Dancing has been great in helping me to be more comfortable opening up and expressing myself in that way.

Dancing is also great when you don't have a boyfriend - you can still experience romance and be swept off of your feet. :-)

It's great to have dance partners that I am friends with as well, because then I can just let the chemistry and magic of dance happen without feeling awkward. I dance best with people I know and trust - at least to some degree. For lindy and blues, I primarily dance with Scott, and for the ballroom dances, I have been dancing with Krishna.

Here are some pictures of me dancing with Scott.

Photos were taken by Mandy Watkins.

Winter Wanderings

I love the winter, particularly the time before Christmas. There's just something magical about the snow and the Christmas lights together. One snowy night near the end of the semester I was walking outside my apartment, and saw three deer. I tracked them through the woods for a while in the falling snow, and there was something almost other-worldly about it. The woods change in the snow - they become a hushed sparkling twilight waiting for magic to happen.

I hoped to go sledding, but ended up being too busy with grading and such when my friends had time. Perhaps I'll get a chance to go later in the winter. However, I did find time to do a snow sculpture. :-) It only took a bit over an hour, though I had some trouble getting the icicle for the horn. I had to go out on my balcony (third floor), and knock down icicles from the roof with a broom handle (and hope no one walked underneath at just the wrong time ;-).

The semester ended very well - I was able to pull my final papers together, and I got As in all of my classes, which I had barely dared to hope was possible. It's good because it will give me a bit of a buffer for if I take harder classes in the future (I have to maintain around a 3.5 GPA to keep my funding).

Christmas with my family was very lovely, and I've been having a great time hanging out in Delaware and relaxing.

Updates and Photos

The first semester is coming to a close, and so far I think it has gone fairly well. These last few papers and assignments will probably determine it all, but I have definitely enjoyed my classes, and I'm really hoping I do well enough to keep my funding. It's so refreshing to actually enjoy my coursework and find it intriguing and thought-provoking. Being a TA has been fun as well, though I'm dreading giving out final grades. I don't like having that kind of power.

Halloween was definitely the most fun time of the semester. Lynne came to visit, and we hung out, watched the movie Hitch (one of my favorites), baked a pumpkin pie, and ate far too much in the way of festive halloween snacks and treats (it turns out that popcorn, cheetoes, chocolate-covered raisins, and candy corn taste really good all mixed together). Then we dressed up in our lovely costumes and went to Club Tropicana for a Halloween dance.

The next day we went with Celesete to a local corn maze, and had lots of fun girl-talk time.

The following weekend was the dance competition, which went fairly well, I suppose, but not as well as I had hoped. However, they did have a costume part at the end, which gave me another fun chance to dress up.

Socially, things have been going fairly well - I have made quite a few female friends/acquaintances from the the latin dance club and ballroom dance clubs, and I get along well with the other philosophy grad students (even though I don't really spend much time with them other than hanging around in the grad student office). Some of the guys in the dance clubs are decent fellows (though others are not so much), but none of them appear to be potential dance partners. I had hoped that I would find someone to practice moves with so that I could progress as a dancer and remember the moves I learned, but it looks like there is little prospect for that, even if I had time for it. Ah well, at least I am getting better at following salsa, that's something. I just wish there were more places to practice the other dances.

A new start

Sometimes life changes leave me feeling a bit schizophrenic. Coming down here to Missouri for grad school was a fulfillment of my dream of pursuing philosophy, but I had to leave Frank behind to do it. It's hard to loose a boyfriend and a best friend at once. I understand that we need to date other people, or we'll never be certain if we have the "right person," but emotional ties are hard to sever.

The excitment of meeting new people and having wonderful new adventures is counterbalanced by pining for what used to be. The rush of learning new dance steps and dancing with new partners is pitted against the regret of loosing a wonderful dance partner. Then with classes, the freshness and excitiment of learning new material in a field I love is offset by my fear that I will not learn quickly enough or be competent enough to survive the program.

It's times like these where I'm so glad God is there to lead me through the mental confusion and show me which course my life is meant to take.

My new apartment!

Upon arrival, (having driven through the night) my mom and I scoped out the apartment and immediately began shopping for furniture. We didn't sleep until that night. In the space of three days, we had my apartment fully furnished, and feeling quite like home. Here are some pictures.

The trip to Missouri

At the beginning of August, mom and I packed up the car and headed west to pick up the things I left at the school in Elgin. We stayed at Frank's for the weekend, which involved much dancing, cutesy noises, and bouncing around with a huge smile on my face. Every time Frank and I see each other, it gets harder to say goodbye, but I guess that's just how things go in life. After a very happy two days, mom and I drove down to Missouri where I am now going to graduate school.

Earlier this summer

Back in the end of June I flew out to visit Frank for a week. We had a wonderful time dancing, visiting the Chicago Botanic Garden, going roller skating with Sarah, going mini-golfing with Mike, and generally hanging out. (First photo at the mini-golf place, second at Dance World in Hoffman Estates).

The summer at home

I had a wonderful summer at home with my family, and got in plenty of quality time with them (and the cats, which were oh so fun to play with). I particularly enjoyed hanging out with Michelle. We talked, watched movies together, made fun of anything and everything, and read Harry Potter together. I also got Michelle all dolled up for her senior photos (I'll post a picture of one when I can), and dressed up as Harry Potter characters the night before the book came out. We also dressed up to go to the movie. We even did some useful work - I helped Michelle sort through university options and start planning for college. (In the photos: Michelle as a Hogwarts student, and me as Professor Treelawny, the divination teacher)

The Competition Continued

Here are some pictures from the smooth dances (waltz, foxtrot, and tango) as well as a picture from the end with our ribbons and family. I will add more photos as I get them.

Practicing the nigt before

The Competition

I promised I would post the results of the dance competition with pictures, but Frank's dad and my mom (who flew out from Delaware to see the comp.) took videos rather than still shots, so that makes sharing action footage problematic. However, we did manage to get a few photos, and we'll try to capture more from the videos.

Our first dance was at 8am on Saturday, which meant getting up at 5:30am to prepare (makeup, hair, costume). My grandma flew in from California the day before and stayed at the hotel were the comeptition took place. My mom arrived just as we started the cha-cha. It was nerve-wracking to be out on the floor in front of the judges, but it also gave me a bit of a rush. It helped that all the couples in each category go out on the floor at once.

The first photos are from the rythm dances, in which we performed cha-cha, rumba, and swing. In the newcomer category, we placed 3rd out of 8. In the bronze category we survived one elimination round (down to 20 from 34) but didn't make it after that.


Here we are back at Frank's place after the Saturday competition with our medals.





I will add info on the Sunday competition (the smooth dances) when I have photos to go with it.

Washington D.C.

I'm currently on spring break at home in Delaware, and I brought Jin back from the school I'm working at with me. She is working/learning English at the school this year, and didn't have anyone to stay with over break as her family all lives in Korea. Last Saturday, Jin, my mom, and I all went to Washington D.C. First, we all went to check out the Smithsonian museum of natural history.

Mom stayed the rest of the time in the museums, and Jin and I went to see the Washington Monument, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial and reflecting pool, and the beautiful cherry blossoms. It was a bit tiring, but a very worthwhile trip.

Dancing the Night Away

Frank and I have been practicing dancing quite a bit lately in preparation for our May 20th ballroom dancing competition. Last Saturday, we went to Magnum's Steakhouse (where we met, and where Frank first asked me out a few months later) for a fancy dinner and dancing. It was nice to re-live those times - very romantic. :-)

The dinner The Tango

The Hustle cuddle

The Hustle open

The Hustle dip

The Rumba dip

Valentines Pictures

As promised, here are my pictures from Valentine's Day. As part of my present for Frank, I fixed him a surprise fancy dinner (complete with home-made pasta, sparkling cider, and chocolate cherry cake) and got all dressed up.

The setup

The cleanup

Updates

It's been too long since I have posted, I know. Quite a bit has transpired, and I am not as good at supplying pictures for it as I once was. I do have pictures from Valentine's Day, which was quite fun, or at least, Frank has the pictures, and I will try to get them from him. :-) Frank and I are still dating for the time being, and we are hoping to do ballroom dancing competition in May. Once I finish this post, I will try to motivate my brownie and junk food-filled body off of the chair and into practicing dancing.

In terms of the future, I have been accepted into two different graduate programs, a masters program in Philosophy at NIU, and a doctoral program at U of Missouri at Columbia. I am still waiting to hear back from two other programs. It looks at this point like Frank and I will take a break from dating while I am away at school. I really don't know what the future holds in terms of our relationship, but I think I am finally nearing the point where I am willing to let God unfold that. What I do need to do is to spend more time in prayer and more time really and truly listening to God's guidance.

Gilmore girls and not getting over it

I've discovered that 2 1/2 seasons straight of Gilmore Girls (don't ask how many hours that means I spent in front of the dvd player), combined with excess spare time, too much food, and difficult discussions with Frank, led to me having a difficult time keeping moodiness at bay. At least I can blame mom and Michelle for getting me hooked on Gilmore Girls. :-) Since I have noticed my tendency to begin to emulate characters (and people) I spend a lot of time around, perhaps I should watch a series with more emotionally stable characters. At least I know better than to watch movies with axe murderers in them. ;-)

Applications

If it seems like I've dropped off the end of the earth, never to be seen again, I have. I'm currently dwelling in the limbo of grad-school application madness. I am consumed by my application essay (which I must create 11 different drafts of - one for each school). It is supposed to be a statement of purpose describing why I want to study philosophy, what preparation I have had for this (none), why I want to study at each specific school, and perhaps what I intend to do with my degree. Trying to write it is unpleasant, but at least it did spawn this much more true-to-me and quite accurate account, which I will not send to a single place I am applying. This is for those of you who want to know the real reason I'm applying to graduate schools in philosophy:

I plaster myself to windows in the winter when it snows, transfixed by the falling lightness. A snowflake weighs .000001 gram. But they can fall by the millions, and they do. It takes time, though - the slow and steady buildup of lightness that lends itself to heaviness when taken as a whole. Time is the master-builder.

In time, snow seeps into the gritty winter earth, providing groundwater for spring. The bursting forth of spring has its foundation in the winter's steady snow.

I see in snowflakes the pattern of my thoughts. I pride myself on my rationality and my painstaking analysis of life, events, and relationships - it is my source of sanity. But there are times when certainty wells up slowly from within me, rather than being motivated by a single external stimulus or event. Thoughts, feelings, and desires fall into place like snowflakes, and gather themselves into a purpose.

The philosophy of religion class I took in my junior year of college revolutionized my view of schoolwork. I couldn't get back to my dorm room fast enough to plunge into the works of great thinkers, pick them apart, shove the pieces under the microscope, and then write about what I saw. Never did I gain such pleasure from my science labs. No other subject so incited me to initiate riotous dinner conversations with my friends. But, it was spring of my junior year, and changing majors then would have resulted in an undergraduate career of more than four years. My pride would not allow that, and neither would my scholarship. So I dropped the idea of pursuing philosophy. Not enough snow had fallen.

My senior year, I filled an open slot in my schedule with an introduction to philosophy course - to get an overview. I figured it couldn't hurt. More snow fell.

The deepest snowfall has been in my previous year teaching environmental education to 3-5 year olds. Any mother knows that the moments of greatest clarity and decision in life often come when faced with small screaming children. All levity aside, my desire to pursue a graduate degree in philosophy is deeply tied to my drive to teach.

A true teacher does not inundate students with facts, figures, theories and formulas. Rather, she aides in opening the mind, equipping the student with tools to make sense of his/her world and experience - the tools that allow him/her to solve problems and arrive at inventive solutions. The most important skills a student can develop are the capacity for reason and the ability to communicate effectively.

Philosophy focuses on just these skills. It provides a synthesis of all of the seemingly fragmented disciplines, because it gets to the heart of the question - mankind's struggle to understand the world. By teaching philosophy, I would enable students to further develop their capacity to question deeply, analyze thoroughly, spot flaws in arguments, and write in a decisive, lucid, and convincing manner.

Scheming Standardized Test-Making Nazis and Evil Capitalistic Programmer Pigs Convene

Thus making my life miserable. ETS charges you $15 for each school you want to send your GRE scores to. I'm applying to 11 places. It stinks. Also today, my hotmail account decided to randomly delete my messages from the last 3 months, many of which were important, leaving intact all of the useless mail that has been sitting in my box for years (literally).

Cake and Costumes

October is always a fun time for me. I can't argue with a month that has both my birthday and Halloween in it. For my birthday, we went to Bennigans, went out dancing, and had a celebration with Frank's dad and Annett. Frank bought me the first birthday cake I've had in almost five years, which was sweet of him. It also had roses on it and was yummy. Can't ask for more than that. :-)

For Halloween, I wanted to dress up and go to costume dances. Fortunately, Frank was willing to oblige and chose Zorro and "his girl" from the list of potential costume options I had made up. Frank looked great, and I loved the way he used his cape as a prop while dancing. We both had fun getting into character. I half expected that we would inadvertently cause some poor older lady or gentleman to have a heart attack with the way we were dancing, but no-one keeled over. They actually complimented us. Never underestimate an 89-year-old who can dance the tango.