I have been thinking for some time of what it would be like to live every day in trust, and with a full expectation of goodness - to have a deep certainty that God would provide all that I needed, and that most importantly, God had already placed within me all that I needed for happiness, wholeness, success, and fullness of joy. The question then is, if I truly believe that God is our Father and Mother, why am I so reluctant to accept this goodness?
I think what I need to let go of is the willful belief that it is my job to carve out for myself a place in this world, and the fearful belief that I am incompetent to do it. With these beliefs come a huge weight of human baggage.
In letting them go I can see:
- My success as defined by God, not by society
- My happiness as built-in, not gained by achieving certain goals set by myself or others
- My worth as established by God, not conferred on me by anyone else
- My spiritual strength as a beloved child of God
- My beauty as spiritual and pure, not physical
- My unbroken relationship with my Father, Mother, God
To experience this freedom, there are some old habits of thought and action that I need to set aside. I need to stop accepting a false picture of who I am.
We read in the Bible the following injunction: "Put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." EphesiansSetting aside the fear, willfulness, cynicism, and baggage of an imperfect human history is not an easy thing. I think in my case it requires that I stop the human effort to change myself from something flawed and imperfect into something better and more "worthy." This is hard to do, because then I have to face the fear human rejection and failure. But, unless I stop this human striving, I can't be open to see that God has already created me (as He created each of us) complete, whole, and perfectly good. I have to trust with my whole heart, that even if I cannot see my true identity clearly right now, and even if others never see it, it is who I am, because it is what God created.
"Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is." I John 3:2
3 comments:
What did I do...Oh God .. Thats deep baby. :) I hope my thought's of sainthood arent influencing you. Look at those sexy talk/dance and now all this....what did I do to you crystal :)
Of course it's deep; I'm a philosopher. ;-) And don't flatter yourself - I live above human influences. :-P hehe
p.s. the fact that you are 6 years older than me doesn't give you a right to call me "baby." If you persist in doing so, I shall have to begin calling you "grandpa." ;-)
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